lu | Leite Condensado

How to cure the frustration of watching a bad movie with less than 10 bucks:

1- Invite a friend of yours to the movies. Make sure it's a terrible movie, so the two of your can flame it when it's over and leave the movie theater feeling like two idiots for having payed for that.

2- Right after the movies, enter inside a Lojas Americanas (department store) and start to search for good DVDs at the "3 for 2" or "2 for 1" sale. Leave the store frustrated because of your lack of money.

3- Since now you are frustrated enough, walk down the street telling your friend all sorts of problems and confessions, looking to the ground.

4- Find a R$10 bill on the floor.

5- Go home to decide what to do with it.

6- Argue with your friend for a while to figure out which movie the two of you are going to see.

7- Take as much time as possible until there are no available sessions.

8- Keep discussing on what are you going to do until one of you come up with the brilliant idea of "Let's get drunk"!

9- Go to the supermarket and make sure you are either underage or forget your ID. Also make sure it is a posh supermarket, so people won't sell you Vodka.

10- Since there is no booze, decide to buy a Coca-Cola bottle and a can of Leite Condensado (if you do not know what that is, just ask a Brazilian friend).

11- Go to the nearest bakery and open it.

12- Start to drink it with your friend. Soon, you'll begin to see a bunch of Fievels.

13- Go eat an empada (again, ask a Brazilian friend) at the best empada store around.

14- Feel your brain turn into marshmallow because of the weird mixture and...

15- Go to French class.

[Warning:] This procedure was done only by those that were trained for this situation. You must prepare yourself before drinking a whole can of Leite Condensado with your friend. It's more than 600 calories. For each of you.

[Warning²:] If you are still frustrated after this, go rent a great movie for a change (and by a good movie I do not mean porn). ~~Whatever floats your boat, though.~~

It really impresses me how much sense I just do not make in the morning.

And I swear I've got a hangover.

The Final Cut (USA, 2004) * - If they had developed the story in a better way, it could be a brilliant film. The idea is great, all they needed was a better script. Unfortunately, that counts a lot.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

We are so wrong now, we are so wrong, so wrong now... What did you say? (...I was quiet.) You said something about Tico & Teco. (I didn't.) Just because you like T&T, it doesn't mean Fievel does, okay? He's been with them since he was ten years old! (...What?) Just keep swimming, just keep swimming! Hey, there's a worm in my ear. It hurts so madly. I'm in doubt.

I don't know which things I'm actually saying and which things I've told you. There are these voices screaming in my head saying stupid stuff like, I don't remember, like Gladiator or whatever, but they didn't kill the other people, because they're stupid. (You should sleep.) I think that, and then I can't get past Darth Vader. I'm thinking about life. And then there's that tennis player, or was it the guy who won chess against the computer? She's like, browsing around livejournal, thinking she can comment wherever she wants to, but who does she think she is? She's not me.

(...Luiza?) Hey! I was in the plane. You know, those big boats. What about you? How are you? Am I supposed to stand up? (No, why would you?) Because people bloody stand up in bloody lines in every bloody bank in this bloody city, and it annoys me so much. I needed to talk to somebody about a problem, I just forgot why. Shit, there's a ghost here. I mean it, damn it! I think there's something happening to me.

It's because I'm thinking in webspeak and it's all my fault and I have this strong pain in my breast, not my breast, my chest. (Weird sentence.) Oh, weirder than the thing with the patricians and Drusus? (What thing?) That thing I said in the spring, with Gaius Marius' father becoming consul.

Are you talking to me? Because I'm hearing all these weird questions. (I'm studying Criminal Law!) Maybe, okay, maybe, did you understand maybe? (Yes. Maybe.) I was going to say something important! Fuck, Chris! Let me come back to the pain, always the pain. It's like it hurts, you know. It's like there are so many parenthesis, and after that there's this paragraph, like... (Lu, what about the pain?) Yeah, God is pink! I'm thinking about Marcus Aurelius being better than Marcus Drusus.

Seriously, my chest hurts a lot, but it's not my lungs, it hurts so much, and it's not exactly my head. (I'm hanging up now. Good night!) Just one thing: Priscilla, wherever you are, listen, it's very important: I know you're really scared of being kidnapped by this evil guy who thinks too much...

(Do you have anything to add?) I haven't finished my speech, Bilbo! Everybody has a Drusus. What did you say? (Nothing.) You said something about the flag on the moon. (No, I didn't.) I swear you did. You should tell them you're Catholic. (Why?) Because you are, a week ago. You keep entering my reveries and asking me stuff -- why are you asking me if the birthday party was full? I said DVD something, and you're not supposed to read my mind, it's the other way around.

Just one more thing: I'm going to get mad at myself tomorrow, because I spent your time and saying bullshit and I'm not sure I know who Drusus is, so I'd just like to tell you that you can go there and do some charity stuff. And I have died, and that's kind of weird, and since you don't tell me who's going to be the next consul... (What?) ...Orange council, what? (I didn't say that.) Why not? Get it, damn it! All the wooden boxes!

Everything's spinning so much. These things in my torax -- that word seems like it's from the Gauls, like Vercingetorix. (Ah, Vercingétorix?) That's so gay. His name has to rhyme!

(Bye!) It's just one last sentence: I am so, so, so, so not sorry for this, because it's your fault, because you're the one who made Marius find me, and now everybody's mad.

(That being said, good night.) Good night! So long, farewell... It bothers me too, you know, saying you've abused marijuana. (What?) No, people who abuse marijuana annoy me! We were talking and you said we should go to the movies, you see.

(Lu! Goodbye!) No, that hurts me! Here's how you say it, repeat after me: Hakuna -- matata! The pain is in my mouth now. Do you think it'll get to my stomach? Why don't you stop talking about your boyfriend? (...What boyfriend?) Fabio! (I don't have a boyfriend called Fabio.) Oh, no, I don't want him to worry about you. We're talking about Vika! And oh, the pain...

I hate when you make this kind of stuff up. It doesn't make me look good, you know?

But you were asking me things by talepathy! I swear! >.<

(I just love when you remember to type these things)

Oh, and my chest it better. ^^

... I keep on not making any sense at all.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. ~~I have no idea why you think that I am insane enough to imagine this kind of thing.~~

Telepathy? Sure.

(Yeah. I had to stop studying to type it, bitch. Next time you decide to get sleepy!drunk, don't do it the day before a test, will you? :p)

...Yep. "My chest it better." No idea what that means.

Ok. 1st thing, Chris, you don't have a boyfriend *called Fabio*? That means, you have a boyfriend called...?

2nd - Lu. Enjoy Kill as much as you want. But if you ever get married or decide to live together, and advice: Do not let her see you like this. It's fun to read it, but it's scary to listen. (Chris is used to those weird stuff)

3rd - You are such a kid!!! You couldn't buy vodka?! Poor kids... =P I'll pick on you forever!

love,

Lis.
- Who reminds you that there's a bottle of belgium beer waiting for you in Rio.

...I'm trying to get your logic. I may have understood it. Oh, fuck, missionaries are invading my house, I have to hurry!

They are such kids, are they not? Even I can buy vodka!

*B

Leite Condensado

Meu chest tá doendo...

Repeat after me: hakuna matata!

Re: Repeat after me: hakuna matata!

Re: Repeat after me: hakuna matata!

Re: Repeat after me: hakuna matata!

Re: Repeat after me: hakuna matata!