I think it's the first time that I have this lack of sleep. The first time that I am able to keep myself up untill 7 a.m. even though I haven't had much sleep since my last day in Oxford.

Two nights now I have spent on the MSN with Lis until the sunrise. I'm tired. I'm tired of lifting people up. I'm tired of lifiting myself up. I'm tired of seeing the ones I love suffering. I'm scared of loosing them. I need sleep, food, to take care of those that need me and for them to take care of me. I need time. I can't possibly think of going to school tomorrow. First day and I'll already be exhausted.

Kill is a bit better, at least. Her fever is lower, she seems better. Thank God(dess) for that. My son is in the worst state I could possibly think of him. I miss Keshi, Di and Julia. Very, very, much. I already miss Lis. I miss my mom. My father scolded me today for something that wasn't my fault. Rê is terrible and I didn't even say goodbye to her properly. One more thing and I think I'll fall to the ground and stay there.

I want to go to Neverland. To somewhere I don't have to worry about all of this. Somewhere that I can be a kid again.

"This is going to be a good year, but we have to take care of it."

Do I? Sometimes I just wish I didn't have this responsibility. Sometimes I wish I didn't have so many friends. Sometimes I feel useless. Sometimes I'm just tired.

I'm really scared of growing up.

Sorry if this post seemed a bit depressing. I know my life is great... But I just had to put this all out of my chest.

Logging off.