I have recently started to write a journal again, and I had hosted it on a forum called Gaia Online. It was reading another girl's journal over there that I remembered that I could host my journal at Live Journal, then all my friends, and not only the people of the forum could read it!

Why Nancy Downs? Well, that is by far my real name. Nancy Downs is a character from "The Craft", a movie about four girls who have magical powers. I always have loved Nancy. She is the most ambitious of them, and the evil one, of course. I used to use this nick a very, very long time ago. Then, I created a society with some friends of mine called the SPCO. Something that in english would be translated into: "We are proud to be bitches". Each of us had to choose a character, and I remembered Nancy. After all, she is a bitch.

I don't know if I will update this everyday, and I don't want to commit to write daily, like I did to my other diary's and blogs. I believe that's why they didn't work out. I will write when I have time to, and when I feel like. I also don't know if I will write about my day, write a text about the meaning of life, a dissertation on "what exactly is Goofy?" or just whatever crosses my mind. This is going to be a space for my thoughts and actions. If you don't like it... I don't really give a damn.
I guess that's pretty much it. *waves* Hello... Live Journal.

I just hope this one works out.

Weekend turned out to be great! :XD

Yesterday Never, DNA, Bá, Dizzy, Killer, Pequena, Cenourinha and Lunna came over my place. We had a lot of laughs and basically did nothing but had fun.

DNA bought 107 meters of ROPE!O.O I'm really scared of that guy! He is into that BDSM (Bounding, Domination, Sado-Masochism) thing. Well, what can I say? So am I. *roll* He gave me as a gift about 30 meters of it, witch we divided in 10 ropes of 3 meters each! (Killer later turned oneof thoso into a whip! Should I worry?)

Killer was able to leave that prision that she calls home and show up. I was glad. After all, it's not everyday that I get to see my girlfriend. Specially with her father being a homofobic. I have to say: Prejudice sucks. Everyday I see lots of friends suffering on and on about that and there's nothing I can do. That gives me a terrible sense of impotency. The best I can do is stand by them and lift them when they fall. Thank God my parents aren't like that.

We watched the movie "Secretary". The story is about a woman that has just got out of a clinic (she used to cut herself for pleasure) and got herself a job as a secretary of a lawyer. Turns out that he is a sadistic, and she falls in love with him.

The movie is great! It's an amazing love story between the two characters. Though they never say it, you just know that they love each other. There's always this sexual tension between them. Both actors are excellent on their parts. A totally uke/seme relationship! Tough I prefer the seme/seme type of relation, it's just beautiful and desperate. No other words for it.

We went out for dinner, to this pizza place nearby, "O Pedaço da Pizza" (something litteraly translated like: "The Slice of Pizza"). I have to tell you, I believe it's one of the gratest pizzas I have ever ate. Because there are a lot of immigrants from Italy here, São Paulo has a big tradition when it comes to pizza. And I just love this place! Everytime I get a chance I grab a slice over there (which turns out to be once in a week). Reminds me of the pizza of San Francisco, California.

Almost everybody slept over (Never, DNA, Dizzy, Bá and Lunna), and I slept kinda early (at about 12h00). But I woke up to eat some brigadeiro (that is a sweet we have here in Brazil made with chocolate. De-li-ci-ous.) DNA had made (he is a chief when it comes to cooking!).

The phone woke me up again. This time it was Bá's brother telling her to go home. It was 8h50 a.m. >"Waiting in a room
All dressed up and bound and gagged up
To a chair
It's so unfair
I won't dare to move,
for the pain
She puts me through
is what I need
to make it bleed

I'm in distress,
oh mistress I confess
so do it one more time
These handcuffs are too tight, well
You know I will obey,
so please Don t make me beg
For blood, sex and booze you give me

Say Im disturbed
its what I deserve,
another lesson to be learned
from a girl called Kill

My head is in the gutter
Thank you sir, strike up another
mandolin of discipline
Throw me to the dogs
Let them eat my flesh down
To the wood
It feels so good" - Green Day, "Blood Sex and Booze".

Lunna told me this music reminded him of my relationship with Killer. I couldn't agree more.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:

"maso.chism: noun 1. the practice of getting sexual pleasure from being physically hurt - compare sadism. 2. (informal) the enjoyment of sth that most people would find unpleasant or painful.

sad.ism: noun 1. enjoyment of watching or making sb suffer. 2. a need to hurt sb in order to get sexual pleasure - compare masochism.

sado.maso.chism: noun enjoyment from hurting sb and being hurt, especially during sexual activity."

"Do you find me sadistic? (...) No Kiddo, I'd like to believe, even now, you're aware enough to know there isn't a trace of sadism in my actions. (...) At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic." - "Bill" in "Kill Bill - Vol.1".

OBS: I posted this entry on my other journal today. I thought it was great, so I'm posting here.